A.O.O.B.

Inspired by the Australian Order of Old Bastards.

Its not ASL if there isn’t some sort of list, some sort of ranking, and it is no different with my worthy opponents.

When I play (whether they like it or not), I reserve the right to bestowe the Meritous Award of the Australian Order of Old Bastards, on my competitors.

The ranking in order of seniority, and listing of deeds associated with awardings:

Arch Bastard (AB)
⦁ Absolute Bastard – Devastating use of tactics and rules.
⦁ Cunning Bastard – Unbelievable knowledge of rules.
⦁ Hard Bastard – Difficult competitor to play.
⦁ Pissed Bastard – Drunk and still plays well.
⦁ Hilarious Bastard – Had me laughing my head off.
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Old Bastard (OB)
⦁ Total Bastard – Great use of tactics and rules.
⦁ Sneaky Bastard – Great knowledge of the rules.
⦁ Tricky Bastard – Hard competitor to play.
⦁ Funny Bastard – Had me shaking my head.
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Real Bastard (RB)
⦁ True Bastard – Good use of tactics and rules.
⦁ Smart Bastard – Best knowledge of rules that I have seen in a while.
⦁ Lucky Bastard – Luckiest die roll I have seen for a while.
⦁ Cheeky Bastard – Had me grinning from ear to ear.
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Ya Bastard (YB)
⦁ Little Bastard – New to game or just restarting.
⦁ Poor Bastard – Lost too many times.
⦁ Unlucky Bastard – Unluckiest die roll I have seen for a while.
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Benefits & Expectations of the Receipient

  • ​Marital status of parents of the receipient is irrelevant.
  • ​Age is irrelevant – it is sufficient to have been acclaimed at least once by as an Old Bastard.
  • Drinking habits if we meet must be hearty and jovial, whatever the drink of choice.
  • On encountering other OB’s (Old Bastards) one must administer a hearty slap on the back, together with the cheerful greeting “Hello, you Old Bastard!
  • Membership card or badge must be carried at all times. Failure to produce same when challenged by another OB incurs a penalty of one round of drinks.

Any issues of upset are covered under our proprietary “Taking The Piss” legal doctrine.


The Roll Of Honour

Meritous AwardRecipient
“Real Bastard” RB (with oak leaves for Cheeky Bastard)Malorum

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2 thoughts on “A.O.O.B.

  1. It’s Australasian Order of Old Bastards-at least that is what’s printed on my membership card! Get it right!!!!!!!!!

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